Esuubi

Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that one day I would live and teach in Uganda. I've always dreamed of a life full of extremes, never thought of any impossibility. And as I look back on the past few years, my life has been full of wild dreams and all of them have come to be. I’ve found that I truly can do all things through Christ who strengthens me (Philippians 4:13).

When you delight yourself in the Lord, He will indeed give you the desires of your heart (Psalm 37:4). When you delight yourself in the Lord, your desires become His desires. My desires have change as I have truly delighted myself in Him. My desire has become to set the world on fire for Him.

I want to love the unloved.

I want to bring hope to the hopeless.

I want to educate the uneducated.

I want to feed the hungry.

As the days wind down of my time out here in Uganda, my heart begins to hurt as I face goodbyes. But I am beyond excited for what the future holds. Because dreams, they seem possible to me. I can do all things through Christ who strengths me. I head back to California with some big dreams that I know are possible. 

I wanna set the world on fire until it’s burning bright for you

It’s everything that I desire, can I be the one you use?

I am small but, you are big enough

I am weak but you are strong enough to

Take my dreams, come and give them wings

Lord with you, there’s nothing I cannot do

I wanna feed the hungry children

And reach across the farthest land

And tell the broken there is healing

And mercy in the Father’s hands

My hands, my feet, my everything

My life, my love, Lord use me

I wanna set the world on fire

I’m gonna set the world on fire.

BEGINNING OF THE END

Ironically, this was the last  page in this notebook.

As I sat down on the taxi to head home from the school yesterday afternoon as usual, I popped my headphones into my ears to drown out the hustle and bustle of the taxi stage and mostly to relax. I put my iPod on shuffle and began thinking about my realization I had the previous day.

For some reason, the previous day I had felt the need to look at my passport. When I flipped through it I made a major realization - the realization that my special pass was expiring on November 25^th. I had never taken the time to really, really look at it after all of the issues of getting the special pass. I just assumed they gave it to me so it would last until my departure date. I was wrong. Three months from August 25^th it would expire. November 25^th. My flight back to California was scheduled for December 16^th. It was perfect. I would be able to finish the school year and even have two weeks to say all of my goodbyes.

Within the blink of an eye, everything changed. I emailed Peggy, the woman who handles LOBO flights, and told her my situation. We decided to take precautions and book for November 23^rd, to avoid issues at the airport. And it was done. Everything changed.

I am now leaving on November 23rth, technically the 22^nd is when I will leave for the airport since my flight is at 1am on the 23^rd. I will not be around for final exams and I will not have those two weeks to say my goodbyes. It was a hard thing to swallow, but as Betty wrote to me in a letter less than a week ago, “The God that we serve is never too early and never too late, but always in time.”

God’s timing is perfect.

And with that, I find myself content, but also sad in the fact that I am leaving Uganda in just 31 days.

The past ten months have been the most amazing of my entire life. There have been some majorly difficult times, but they have all made me into who I am right this very moment. I don’t think I could ever possibly put into words all that I have experienced and perhaps that’s the beauty of it all. That it’s mine and mine alone. I have everything here in my heart to hold onto for the rest of my life. I can share things with you, answer your questions, but in the end, it’s mine.

No one will ever know what it’s like to have a friendship like I have with Emmanuel. No one will ever know what it’s like to take an afternoon walk with Joseph. To hold your student down on the hospital bed while tears stream from her eyes as she looks at you in fear as they clean the burn wounds on her hand. To laugh with your students until it hurts over a story you wrote about them. To feel the warm sun hitting your skin, and wind in your hair as you ride to the hospital on a boda one October afternoon with Mercy.

It’s mine. I know how it feels. I know what it looks like. I know the sounds. The smells. I have it all. God gave this to me. It’s been such a blessing to be here. I have learned so much and I am thankful for all of it. The good and the bad times. The rain and the sunshine.

And although I am thrilled to be able to go home into the loving arms of my family, it’s going to be treacherous saying goodbye. But how lucky am I to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard. And it’s not really a goodbye, but a see you later anyhow.

I know I will be back here to Uganda, I know it for a fact. I mean this is already my second round. I just don’t know when. And I’m content with that, because I know God has a perfect plan and he’s never let me down before, so why should I doubt him now? God is good all the time, and all the time God is good, and that’s his nature, wow!

I am going to miss everything about this place. Even the posho and beans rolex. I am genuinely excited to see what God has in store for me. And I am excited to continue serving him…in California.

And into my headphones sang the words, “Between what might be and what has been, it feels like the beginning of the end.”

So here is to the beginning of the end. I have some fun things planned for the kids over the next month that I know will rock their worlds. I am going to enjoy every last moment I have here until I get to embrace my family in the San Francisco airport and that evening watch the California sunset from my bedroom window. 

Lemons and Lemonade

Today was visitation day at Grace High School where many of the students in the Loving One By One (LOBO) Ministry attend secondary school. LOBO has its own primary school, New Creation Centre, which is where I teach, but once the students complete primary school, they are sent to Grace High School for their secondary education.

It's always such a joy being able to give the girls hugs and visit with all of the kids that I've taken long to see. And I especially enjoy seeing Joseph and Betty. I've written about Joseph before--great kid! --Betty reached out to me at the beginning of the year--she had started writing me on Facebook when I was home for a few months last year, and then came to visit me at New Creation Centre at the start of the school year.

Betty is in Senior 2, so I never had the opportunity to get to know her, because she hasn't ever attended New Creation Centre during the time I've been teaching there. But through letters and visits, we've been able to get to know each other fairly well.

It is easy to say that Betty is one of the kindest and most loving people I've ever met. I even hear the other girls rant and rave about her. Esther was telling me a few months back that Betty is the one who will always approach someone if they are going down the wrong path. She is the one to reach out to those in need. She's got a smile that could light up this whole town and a head on her shoulders that's going to take her far in life. I absolutely adore her to say the least.

Anyhow, she blessed me with a two page, handwritten letter that I read on my ride home from the visitation. I wanted to share the letter with y'all for numerous reasons.

I am such a big advocate on children being provided with education. Betty is a sponsor child, and without sponsors, she would not be able to attend school. This girl is so bright and is going to change so many lives. She is already changing lives of those she goes to school with. With this opportunity to attend school, she's going to be able to pursue her dreams, instead of being stuck at home struggling for money. This girl amazes me. She is wise beyond her years.

"Hello Auntie Kelsey,

Praise the living God and how has been your work at NCC? I hope everything went on good on your side. Back to me, my term three at school began so well because of the nice gifts, letter, and the pocket money you gave me cause for sure you helped me so much because for sure that day I left home with nothing apart from my transport which I was given to use while coming to school. And really I was happy in my heart, however much I did not show you back, for sure you helped me a lot and that was the money which I was using at school and I promise that I will grow in my relationship with God as you said so and also just know that I am also so proud to have an auntie and friend like you and you will always be in my heart.

Auntie Kelsey may God really bless you and your family. Auntie, the God that we serve is never too early and never too late, but always in time. What I know is that the God we serve can never let us down.

You are the kind of person who is always there to help somebody in need! May God bless you for that.

You are a person whom somebody can count on. You never let somebody down. You are courageous, God fearing, you always correct somebody's mistakes, you are beautiful, fearfully and wonderfully made, a few to mention. You always give, because when you give out something to somebody, God rewards you in abundance. I want to stop here by saying I love you, don't give up, continue praying, cast all your burdens to God, have faith and continue being good and helpful and God will surely bless you

Remember:
Never close the book of your life when God has not finished writing your story. Never hang up when God is still on the line with you. Life is an adventure experienced in stages. Today's lemons are the ingredients for tomorrow's lemonade. Today's seeds are tomorrow's harvest. Each day, each moment, God is working out his purposes in our lives. Stay focused, your best days are yet ahead of you. Just hold on to the prayers my dear auntie.

Jeremiah 33:3

Love in Christ,
Bethinah Betty"

I never really understood the true impact sponsoring a child could have. These children are provided with an education which is something that changes their lives drastically. Many of their families struggle greatly trying to simply put food on the table, yet alone pay rent. Providing school fees for numerous children is just not possible for many families here in Uganda. But with sponsors, children are blessed with the opportunity to attend school, which will help them to get a good job, change lives along the way, and ultimately change that cycle of poverty.

I am so thankful to be able to teach students who have been blessed with sponsors. And I enjoy watching each of theses children grow in their relationships with Christ and become the people he desires for them to be. I am thankful for Betty and her loving heart. I am thankful that she is a good example to those around her. She is a living proof of God's great love.

Detaching

Detaching.

I have found myself saying this word to myself on numerous accounts over the past few days.

When Term Three began, I realized that it was my last term teaching my class. I also realized that I only had a few months left of Football Saturdays, and even less time messing around with the kids in the P7 class.

Throughout the year I have spent every moment possible with the students of NCC. I couldn’t ever get enough of them. But lately, I’ve found myself excluding myself from them. I leave school as soon as possible, spend lunch in my classroom working on lesson plans, or sitting in my room distracting myself with some TV series.

I thought maybe it was because I’ve been dealing with issues, that frankly shouldn’t be my issues, but I’ve realized it’s not that. When I first caught myself saying “detaching” to myself, it hit me. It hit me hard.

I’ve come to the realization that next week is mid-term exams. Term Three is halfway over. P7 has just three weeks left at school. And I leave Uganda in 68 days.

In 68 days, I say goodbye.

And I’m not ready to say goodbye.

So I’ve been detaching. Like a band-aid. I’ve slowly begun to pull it off, instead of all at once.

But I’ve also come to the realization that every day I spend detaching, I am later going to regret.

So it’s time to focus and time to reattach and enjoy every moment I have left with my favorite kids.

And now that I’ve been honest about how I’m feeling…I am going to go outside and light some sparklers with the kids to celebrate Uganda’s Independence day!

I Wrote a Book

School is back in sesh. Woo-to-the-hoo! 

After what seemed to be the longest holiday ever, I am happy to back in the classroom teaching. I was amazingly surprised to see that ten out of my eleven students showed up on the first day of school. Nothing too exciting has been going on besides the story I am about to share with you. I was going to keep this story I've written to myself...but I thought it was blog worthy, I needed something to blog about, and well I thought it was funny and wanted to share. So here you go...this is my book that has been based on a true story...

--> I Don't Have a Title <--

(typical)

Last week my teacher surprised our class with a class pet. I was hoping for a bunny or fish, but she gave us rocks. I actually thought mine was pretty cool. He had eyes glued on his head with a crooked, red and glittery mouth. Anyhow, we tried to convince Teacher Kelsey to go down the road to buy a pet rabbit, because let's be honest, no one wanted a rock as a pet. What do you even do with a rock? I did make headphones for my pet rock, which I named Transporter Pt.1, out of ticky-tack from behind a poster on our wall. Although Teacher Kelsey made me put the ticky-tack back behind the poster.

Emma and his pet rock, Transporter Pt.1

She is always telling us that the posters fall off the wall when we take the ticky-tack, but what she doesn't realize is that they fall because we play rough in the classroom. The only reason our Bucket Filler poster was on the floor this morning was because Richard was on the desk fighting Leonard. 

Back to the class pet situation; teacher Kelsey said a big "NO" after we asked about a pet bunny. She claimed that if we couldn't take care of plants, then there would be no way we could care for a rabbit. Perhaps we had killed the plants, but she could have at least let us have fish. Those are simple to care for. You don't have to walk a fish or clean up its stinky poo. 

Since there was no convincing Teacher Kelsey to find a more suitable pet for our class, I took to the task myself. I had already given Teacher Kelsey her own pet kitten, so I couldn't repeat that one. But I did remember seeing some fish in the creek down by my house the past weekend, and like I said, fish are easy to care for. There's no way Teacher Kelsey could deny our class a pet fish if she had accepted the kitten I gave her. 

So after school, after the whole pet rock situation, I dropped my backpack at home, found an old ice cream tin and raced down to the creek. It took some effort but I managed to catch three fish. All that was left was to surprise Teacher Kelsey the bext day at school with our new, and much better, class pet. 

The next morning I woke up extra early to ensure that I would have plenty of time to get the fish to school safely. When it was time to leave for school I slung my backpack over my shoulders and carried the fish in their ice cream tin as carefully as I could. I managed to carry them all the way to school and into the classroom without spilling all of their water, and set them on my desk to wait for Teacher Kelsey to see.

"Oh, wow!" she said as she placed her lesson books on her desk.. You know, the “oh wow” where the teacher pretends they are excited. Right then I knew we had some convincing to do. I explained that I brought a class pet that was simple to care for and that I had even caught a Mad Fish. Those are the hardest fish of all to catch. But she clearly didn't understand that Mad Fish was a type of fish, not a just a crazy fish. It made no difference when the Mad Fish jumped out of the ice cream tin in the middle of our math lesson and began flopping around the desk. Thankfully Isaac picked it up by the tail and plopped it back into the water. But only moments later Vanesa spilled the whole ice cream tin of water onto Teacher Kelsey's books. 

Convincing Teacher Kelsey that having fish as a pet was not going as I'd hope. She picked up the ice cream tin and walked the fish right out of the classroom. She said it was disturbing the class, but I think it was just adding some much needed excitement. Who wanted to practice subtraction anyhow? Boring. 

Our pet fish

When she returned to class she informed us that she had dumped the fish outside, giving them a proper home where they would no longer disturb our class. After all my hard work of catching the fish and carrying them all the way to school, she just dumped them. I spent the remainder of our math class staring at the subtraction problems in my notebook, trying to not think about what had just happened. The bell eventually rang marking break time. As the other kids raced out of class, I slowly arranged my desk neatly, before I headed outside to join them.

When I walked out to the school yard I saw Leonard and Isaac from my class staring into a large orange bucket. I decided to go over to see what it was they were look at. Leonard yelled to me, “Emma! You must see this!” To my amazement inside the large orange bucket were my three fish.

I should have known that Teacher Kelsey was tricking us about dumping the fish. Especially after the time she scared Isaac by putting a fake centipede in his English book. She had liked my class pet and even found a better home for the fish. I will admit that the ice cream tin was a little small for them. Now there is room in the large orange bucket for me to bring even more fish! The other students loved the fish and we even have our pet rocks sitting on our desks in our classroom. I think Teacher Kelsey still likes the pet rocks best.

That's What's Up

I have lived in Uganda for 371 days. That’s over a year of my life, and in retrospect, that’s not very long. Look at it this way, I have been alive for 8,636 days, 371 days spent away from home is not very long; although, if you were to ask my mother, one day away would be long enough for her. With 371 days down, I have exactly 108 days left until “I’ll be home for Christmas, you can count on me.” --My mom is probably doing a happy dance as she’s reading this. (Mom, sit down, stop dancing, the neighbors are going to have proof that our family is crazy if you don’t cool it!)

Anyhow, the past 28 days of my 371 days, I’ve been on holiday; “vacation” for you Americans. Apparently it’s a British thing. Uganda was originally Buganda, ruled by the British, hence the “B” on the beginning of Uganda. Then when “Buganda” gained its independence on October 9^th, “1960-something,” (thank you Mercy and Eron) they dropped the “B” and became Uganda. So, basically what I’m trying to get at is that there is a great amount of British influence on the language here in Uganda; colour, favourite, holiday, and the “B” word is just the name of a female dog, nothing more. Try writing that on the blackboard of a Primary 4 class.

I woke up this morning to the sound of 15 teenagers and rain drops hitting the roof and realized that I am ready for school to be back in session. I may not miss the 6:30am wake up and 2 hour commute to and from school, but I sure do miss my class. And truth be told, I am bored out of my mind.

Just one week into holiday my roommate Erika left Uganda to head back to America. Cool, Erika, real cool. No, I am happy that she is able to be with her family and friends and I know that it was God’s perfect timing for her. But nonetheless, I’ve been on my own trying to entertain myself over the past two weeks.

Proof that I have my Special Pass

For the past month and a half I’ve been dealing with visa issues. I had renewed my visa…too many times, which forced me to apply for a special pass. And let me just tell you that the people at Internal Affairs are the most unhelpful people ever. No joke. I visited Internal Affairs eight times in just two weeks. “It’s not ready, come back.” Do you not realize I just spent 17,000/- on an hour and a half commute here, and now I have to go back, and then come back again? Ridiculous. Nonetheless, after all the trouble and a beautiful, angel of a woman giving me a hug and explaining the last few steps I needed to take, I now have my passport and special pass sitting right here on my desk. I can now remain in Uganda for the next three months without worry of being locked up abroad. Although, I wouldn’t mind starring on that show, since it’s one of my favourites to watch. My mom may have a heart attack if that were to happen. (Mom, don’t worry, I have my special pass! I’ll add a photo of it somewhere in here so you can see proof that they can’t lock me up abroad).

Once that was taken care of, I finally had some time to relax.

Last weekend my friend Thomas…I seem to know many people with the name Thomas these days. Not that it matters or that anyone really cares. Back to the point, my friend Thomas works with a church called Watoto. You are most likely to have heard of the Watoto Children’s Choir. They tour many countries, singing and performing in churches. Watoto has a church, children’s choir, and many other things. So, Thomas invited me out to tour one of the Watoto Villages. We took a nice little drive out of Kampala and a boda ride up a beautiful hill. Thomas gave me the grand tour of the village: The school, the workshop, the church on site, the children’s homes, the uh-mazing babies’ home, the goat farm with goats cuter than the children, and many other things. It was absolutely wonderful being able to see another ministry which is obviously thriving. Seeing another ministry and hearing about their visions got me really excited for Uganda and all God has in store for them. There are many wonderful ministries out here that are changing the lives of many Ugandans. It was such a blessing being able to spend the day out at the Watoto village with Thomas. After the village tour we grabbed lunch and headed off to a Saturday evening service at Watoto Central church. I had been longing to attend a Watoto service since I initially arrived in Uganda, so that was quite fantastic to say the least. We even sang I Know Who I Am by Sinach. If you have not heard that song, oh you’re missing out. That song is the stuff here in Uganda. You can’t go one day without hearing someone singing it.

My kite that lasted longer than both
Peter and Henry's kites. Just saying.

“Take a look at me, I’m a wonder. It doesn’t matter what you see now. Can you see His glory? ‘Cause I know who I am.”

There was one day where I literally just went to town to hang out with students. They are basically my only friends here after all. I’ve spent some time at KHOP (Kampala House of Prayer), have watched a whole lot of Once Upon A Time, found The Fault In Our Stars DVD in the movie bin at an internet café and watched that. Cried a little—sad movie right there, but amazing book! Read it. I’ve cleaned my room about 14 times if that interests anyone. Henry, Peter, and I made kites last week. Within the first five minutes of flying them mine had hit Henry in the eye, Henry's was on the roof, and Peter's was all tangled up. Another day I took Margret Mae grocery shopping with me and went on a wild goose chase looking for the book…I don’t even remember what it was called, something by Charles Dickens. Margret Mae had to continually remind me of the title.

Margret Mae and I on our boda
ride back from grocery shopping.

I visited Joseph and his mother the other day because I wanted to see them and I also needed to give Joseph the Charles Dickens book I had gone on a wild goose chase to find. He needed it in order to attend his English class and himself nor did his mother have the money to purchase it. I did, and this kid is pretty much my most favourite of all time in the history of ever. So how could I not? I wish you could have seen his reaction when I gave him the book. His face lit up like fireworks on the 4^th of July and his mother was full of happiness. This lady is also one of my favourites, by the way. These moments are such sweet reminders of what God has commanded of us as his followers.

When you support me financially your money goes to three places.

1) My monthly $400 room and board cost

2) Football Saturdays

3) Acts 20:35

I have an envelope of cash labeled, Acts 20:35. Acts 20:35 is where I put a majority of my money which I use to support those in need. I should include Deuteronomy 15:4-11 on the envelope as well. –I am quite positive I am in a season of learning to give freely. I am loving it, and loving not worrying about money because hey, God provides.

Joseph, his mom, and I chatted for a while about life and whatnot, he showed me photos of his sponsors and the letters I had written him in the past, and then he took me on another tour of Baha’I Temple. I thoroughly enjoy every moment spent with this kid. Or shall I say young man? He’s making 19 years in November. Hey-ho!

I attempted to DIY some bubble solution for the kids yesterday and with without fail, failed. Nonetheless, Carol, Teddy, and Margret Mae enjoyed attempting to get it to work. In order to make up for the bubble solution fail I decided to have a Glow Stick Mania Night. I wrote a little invitation and placed it on the table in the family room and within minutes Teddy went running outside, invite in hand, screaming, “You’re invited!!!”

Erin had left two packs of glow sticks with me before she left Uganda a few months back, so thank you Erin for providing us with some awesome entertainment! The first game was Glow Stick Hide and Seek. I sent all the children to their rooms while I hid the glow sticks throughout the house. I then turned off all the lights and they had to find as many as they could. Of course with 15 children they started stealing them from each other and you know how kids are; typical. The other game we played was Glow Stick River Jump. I made two ropes of glow sticks by connecting them together and then laid them on the family room floor making a “river.” The object of the game was to jump over the river without landing in the lava. If you landed in the lava you were out. Once everyone had jumped I moved the glow stick ropes further apart.

Peter didn’t make it past the first round with his short legs. Somehow Mercy made it into the last round “because she is flexible,” with long legged Lawrence, and Joseph. I have no idea how Joseph made it into the last round. Glow Stick River Jump was a hit. I wish we had more glow sticks so we could play the game again.

And...that’s what’s up. Basically I am counting down the days until school is back in session. Eight days and counting.

-->YOU BE THE SUN I'LL BE THE SHINING<--

The Best Day

With just 4 moths left in Uganda, I sit on a front porch (or have been for the past four hours) watching some of my boys playing football.

It's hard to imagine not being here. I have a life back in California and of course that's where my family resides. But Uganda has become my life. Watching my students play football on a Thursday afternoon has become my life.

I remember back in the day when my mom would be out for the day and my dad would take my brother, sister, and I to the park. I absolutely hated it. I was obviously much too old to play at the park and watching my younger siblings play was absolutely miserable. 

It's funny to think of how time changes most everything. One of my favorite things to do these days is watch my students play football. I could watch for hours. 

Perhaps it's not even the watching football part, but the simple fact that they have become my world. Much like a child to a father. I love seeing them laughing. I love seeing smiles on their faces. It brings so much happiness into my life. 

I suppose this is how our Heavenly Father feels as he watches us laugh and smile. 

Four months until I say goodbye to the people who have become most important to me in this world. I am beyond excited to be back in California with my family, but how will I bear knowing I can't run to the market to get some football cliets when a student is in need of a pair. Or bear knowing that there's no one to bandage the scraped knees after a Saturday football match. I won't be able to tell my students I'm proud of them, or be there for Margret Mae when she is just bored out of her mind. When all I need is a little Vanesa hug, she won't be there.

But, I am absolutely confident that God's timing and God's plan is always perfect. So I know when I return home it will be in God's perfect plan. I can embrace my mother and father and walk down the street whenever I want to have a lovely chat about lions and tigers with my cousin Liam. 

So with strange looks on their faces, wondering why I'm still sitting here watching them play football after four hours, I give them a strange look back and  send them a smile...knowing that for today, and the next four months worth of days, I have the pleasure of watching them play football, hearing them laugh, and seeing them smile all my heart desires.

"I hope you know that, I had the best day with you today."