Detaching

Detaching.

I have found myself saying this word to myself on numerous accounts over the past few days.

When Term Three began, I realized that it was my last term teaching my class. I also realized that I only had a few months left of Football Saturdays, and even less time messing around with the kids in the P7 class.

Throughout the year I have spent every moment possible with the students of NCC. I couldn’t ever get enough of them. But lately, I’ve found myself excluding myself from them. I leave school as soon as possible, spend lunch in my classroom working on lesson plans, or sitting in my room distracting myself with some TV series.

I thought maybe it was because I’ve been dealing with issues, that frankly shouldn’t be my issues, but I’ve realized it’s not that. When I first caught myself saying “detaching” to myself, it hit me. It hit me hard.

I’ve come to the realization that next week is mid-term exams. Term Three is halfway over. P7 has just three weeks left at school. And I leave Uganda in 68 days.

In 68 days, I say goodbye.

And I’m not ready to say goodbye.

So I’ve been detaching. Like a band-aid. I’ve slowly begun to pull it off, instead of all at once.

But I’ve also come to the realization that every day I spend detaching, I am later going to regret.

So it’s time to focus and time to reattach and enjoy every moment I have left with my favorite kids.

And now that I’ve been honest about how I’m feeling…I am going to go outside and light some sparklers with the kids to celebrate Uganda’s Independence day!