BEGINNING OF THE END

Ironically, this was the last  page in this notebook.

As I sat down on the taxi to head home from the school yesterday afternoon as usual, I popped my headphones into my ears to drown out the hustle and bustle of the taxi stage and mostly to relax. I put my iPod on shuffle and began thinking about my realization I had the previous day.

For some reason, the previous day I had felt the need to look at my passport. When I flipped through it I made a major realization - the realization that my special pass was expiring on November 25^th. I had never taken the time to really, really look at it after all of the issues of getting the special pass. I just assumed they gave it to me so it would last until my departure date. I was wrong. Three months from August 25^th it would expire. November 25^th. My flight back to California was scheduled for December 16^th. It was perfect. I would be able to finish the school year and even have two weeks to say all of my goodbyes.

Within the blink of an eye, everything changed. I emailed Peggy, the woman who handles LOBO flights, and told her my situation. We decided to take precautions and book for November 23^rd, to avoid issues at the airport. And it was done. Everything changed.

I am now leaving on November 23rth, technically the 22^nd is when I will leave for the airport since my flight is at 1am on the 23^rd. I will not be around for final exams and I will not have those two weeks to say my goodbyes. It was a hard thing to swallow, but as Betty wrote to me in a letter less than a week ago, “The God that we serve is never too early and never too late, but always in time.”

God’s timing is perfect.

And with that, I find myself content, but also sad in the fact that I am leaving Uganda in just 31 days.

The past ten months have been the most amazing of my entire life. There have been some majorly difficult times, but they have all made me into who I am right this very moment. I don’t think I could ever possibly put into words all that I have experienced and perhaps that’s the beauty of it all. That it’s mine and mine alone. I have everything here in my heart to hold onto for the rest of my life. I can share things with you, answer your questions, but in the end, it’s mine.

No one will ever know what it’s like to have a friendship like I have with Emmanuel. No one will ever know what it’s like to take an afternoon walk with Joseph. To hold your student down on the hospital bed while tears stream from her eyes as she looks at you in fear as they clean the burn wounds on her hand. To laugh with your students until it hurts over a story you wrote about them. To feel the warm sun hitting your skin, and wind in your hair as you ride to the hospital on a boda one October afternoon with Mercy.

It’s mine. I know how it feels. I know what it looks like. I know the sounds. The smells. I have it all. God gave this to me. It’s been such a blessing to be here. I have learned so much and I am thankful for all of it. The good and the bad times. The rain and the sunshine.

And although I am thrilled to be able to go home into the loving arms of my family, it’s going to be treacherous saying goodbye. But how lucky am I to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard. And it’s not really a goodbye, but a see you later anyhow.

I know I will be back here to Uganda, I know it for a fact. I mean this is already my second round. I just don’t know when. And I’m content with that, because I know God has a perfect plan and he’s never let me down before, so why should I doubt him now? God is good all the time, and all the time God is good, and that’s his nature, wow!

I am going to miss everything about this place. Even the posho and beans rolex. I am genuinely excited to see what God has in store for me. And I am excited to continue serving him…in California.

And into my headphones sang the words, “Between what might be and what has been, it feels like the beginning of the end.”

So here is to the beginning of the end. I have some fun things planned for the kids over the next month that I know will rock their worlds. I am going to enjoy every last moment I have here until I get to embrace my family in the San Francisco airport and that evening watch the California sunset from my bedroom window. 

Lemons and Lemonade

Today was visitation day at Grace High School where many of the students in the Loving One By One (LOBO) Ministry attend secondary school. LOBO has its own primary school, New Creation Centre, which is where I teach, but once the students complete primary school, they are sent to Grace High School for their secondary education.

It's always such a joy being able to give the girls hugs and visit with all of the kids that I've taken long to see. And I especially enjoy seeing Joseph and Betty. I've written about Joseph before--great kid! --Betty reached out to me at the beginning of the year--she had started writing me on Facebook when I was home for a few months last year, and then came to visit me at New Creation Centre at the start of the school year.

Betty is in Senior 2, so I never had the opportunity to get to know her, because she hasn't ever attended New Creation Centre during the time I've been teaching there. But through letters and visits, we've been able to get to know each other fairly well.

It is easy to say that Betty is one of the kindest and most loving people I've ever met. I even hear the other girls rant and rave about her. Esther was telling me a few months back that Betty is the one who will always approach someone if they are going down the wrong path. She is the one to reach out to those in need. She's got a smile that could light up this whole town and a head on her shoulders that's going to take her far in life. I absolutely adore her to say the least.

Anyhow, she blessed me with a two page, handwritten letter that I read on my ride home from the visitation. I wanted to share the letter with y'all for numerous reasons.

I am such a big advocate on children being provided with education. Betty is a sponsor child, and without sponsors, she would not be able to attend school. This girl is so bright and is going to change so many lives. She is already changing lives of those she goes to school with. With this opportunity to attend school, she's going to be able to pursue her dreams, instead of being stuck at home struggling for money. This girl amazes me. She is wise beyond her years.

"Hello Auntie Kelsey,

Praise the living God and how has been your work at NCC? I hope everything went on good on your side. Back to me, my term three at school began so well because of the nice gifts, letter, and the pocket money you gave me cause for sure you helped me so much because for sure that day I left home with nothing apart from my transport which I was given to use while coming to school. And really I was happy in my heart, however much I did not show you back, for sure you helped me a lot and that was the money which I was using at school and I promise that I will grow in my relationship with God as you said so and also just know that I am also so proud to have an auntie and friend like you and you will always be in my heart.

Auntie Kelsey may God really bless you and your family. Auntie, the God that we serve is never too early and never too late, but always in time. What I know is that the God we serve can never let us down.

You are the kind of person who is always there to help somebody in need! May God bless you for that.

You are a person whom somebody can count on. You never let somebody down. You are courageous, God fearing, you always correct somebody's mistakes, you are beautiful, fearfully and wonderfully made, a few to mention. You always give, because when you give out something to somebody, God rewards you in abundance. I want to stop here by saying I love you, don't give up, continue praying, cast all your burdens to God, have faith and continue being good and helpful and God will surely bless you

Remember:
Never close the book of your life when God has not finished writing your story. Never hang up when God is still on the line with you. Life is an adventure experienced in stages. Today's lemons are the ingredients for tomorrow's lemonade. Today's seeds are tomorrow's harvest. Each day, each moment, God is working out his purposes in our lives. Stay focused, your best days are yet ahead of you. Just hold on to the prayers my dear auntie.

Jeremiah 33:3

Love in Christ,
Bethinah Betty"

I never really understood the true impact sponsoring a child could have. These children are provided with an education which is something that changes their lives drastically. Many of their families struggle greatly trying to simply put food on the table, yet alone pay rent. Providing school fees for numerous children is just not possible for many families here in Uganda. But with sponsors, children are blessed with the opportunity to attend school, which will help them to get a good job, change lives along the way, and ultimately change that cycle of poverty.

I am so thankful to be able to teach students who have been blessed with sponsors. And I enjoy watching each of theses children grow in their relationships with Christ and become the people he desires for them to be. I am thankful for Betty and her loving heart. I am thankful that she is a good example to those around her. She is a living proof of God's great love.

Detaching

Detaching.

I have found myself saying this word to myself on numerous accounts over the past few days.

When Term Three began, I realized that it was my last term teaching my class. I also realized that I only had a few months left of Football Saturdays, and even less time messing around with the kids in the P7 class.

Throughout the year I have spent every moment possible with the students of NCC. I couldn’t ever get enough of them. But lately, I’ve found myself excluding myself from them. I leave school as soon as possible, spend lunch in my classroom working on lesson plans, or sitting in my room distracting myself with some TV series.

I thought maybe it was because I’ve been dealing with issues, that frankly shouldn’t be my issues, but I’ve realized it’s not that. When I first caught myself saying “detaching” to myself, it hit me. It hit me hard.

I’ve come to the realization that next week is mid-term exams. Term Three is halfway over. P7 has just three weeks left at school. And I leave Uganda in 68 days.

In 68 days, I say goodbye.

And I’m not ready to say goodbye.

So I’ve been detaching. Like a band-aid. I’ve slowly begun to pull it off, instead of all at once.

But I’ve also come to the realization that every day I spend detaching, I am later going to regret.

So it’s time to focus and time to reattach and enjoy every moment I have left with my favorite kids.

And now that I’ve been honest about how I’m feeling…I am going to go outside and light some sparklers with the kids to celebrate Uganda’s Independence day!