I'm finally broken, falling too far
Burned up in pieces from chasing your stars
With twilight approaching all that I've seen
I could never get over what you've done to me
I am at a loss for words of how to express this past week of walking home with the children from school. But as I was riding to school this morning on the boda, the lyrics above played through my headphones. The truth is, I am finally broken and am falling way too far into something I never saw myself getting involved in. I have burned to pieces chasing after God's stars. But I see twilight approaching and I will never get over what God has done to me this past week.
You've probably read my posting about what occurred on Monday, but if not you can go back and read that. I won't bore those who have previously heard the story by retelling it. Tuesday was less eventful including my backpack weight like 95 pounds, taking the back roads with Anna, and then helping her wash her clothes after arriving at her house.
Although, on Wednesday, God truly began to work in my heart. I walked home with a large group of students and stopped at a super market along the way to purchase a football. Of course at least eight of my students insisted on coming into the store with me. The workers just laughed at the sight and joked with me about it. After purchasing the football Anna, Simon Peter and I crossed over the road to head to their house. After arriving I asked them if they had brought all of their requirements (pens, pencils, books, toilet paper, and brooms) to school. They had not, so I wrote down everything them and their older brother Patrick needed, and told them I would take care of that for them.
Their mom is currently in Sudan working. Three primary school students without their mom and not enough money to purchase their school supplies. This broke my heart.
Thursday was another walk with a big group of students, but Anna, Simon Peter and I managed to cross the road and enterd into a super market by ourselves to purchase their school supplies. We ran into Sherry and chatted with her, picked up what we needed, and also grabbed a knife and the biggest pineapple possible. We walked the rest of the way to their house where I cut the pineapple, Anna washed her clothes and Simon Peter washed dishes. I asked Simon Peter if his dad stayed at their house and he told me that his dad was also in Sudan.
I cried the entire boda ride home. My mom was there at home every single day when I arrived home from school. In fact my mom picked me up from school each and every day. My dad always arrived home after work and I am quite sure I never went to school without my requirements. I had all the simple things that these children don't have. Why am I the one taking them to get school supplies and walking them home from school? Don't get me wrong, I love doing it, and it's what God called me to do and what I'm honored to do. But it breaks my heart that they don't have their mom around to do those things with them and for them. When they arrive home, no one is ever there, and no one ever comes home. They have their older sister, but that's it. Can you even begin to imagine living a life like such?
Friday morning at school I was talking to the other teachers about requirements and found out about five other students who have families who are really struggling. Students who they knew would not be able to bring supplies. So I pulled those students aside and am working to also have their requirements taken care of. I will most likely pay no more than $20 for all of their supplies. We spend twice that on school supplies just for ourselves. $20 for five students.
Walking home this afternoon was a struggle to say the least. I walked six miles home from school today. It was a farther walk than the previous days and it was not even all the way to the homes of a few of the students. I still can't wrap my mind around the fact that students walk six miles to and from school. Every day.
My shoes have seen better days and my heels felt quite better before this week of walking. But I would not trade any of it. My students held my hands the entire way each day, they asked me each morning if I would be walking with them, and I have never had children say thank you to me so many times. My students love walking with me and I have thoroughly enjoyed walking with them; the quality time spent with them, the laughter, and smiles. And most of all, I have enjoyed all God has been showing me. I am so incredibly blessed. And I am simply called to bless others through my blessings. Whether it be walking home with my students, purchasing school supplies for them, or simply loving on them.
I have never felt more joy in my life than I have this past week. It was humbling and such a blessing. Walking home with my students was better than Disneyland.
So here is to the 12 miles I walked home from school this week, and here's to walking many more in the future. Because let's be honest, I really enjoyed this past week, so I am sure I'll be walking home with them more often from here on out.
I will never get over what You've done to me. I have had a total perspective change on life.
And you ask me what I want this year
And I try to make this kind and clear
Just a chance that maybe they'll find better days
'Cause they don't need boxes wrapped in strings
And designer love and empty things
Just a chance that maybe they'll find better days
When you find out your students' parents are living in a different country, or others are going to bed without food in their stomachs, your life changes. Nothing else matters other than helping them and loving them. All they want is love and if it's walking home with them from school, then I will do that. If it's playing a game of football on a Saturday morning with them, then I will do it. I will make them PB&J sandwiches, I will buy them school supplies, give away my lunch, and love them with everything I have.
They need some place simple where they could live
And something only you can give
And that's faith and trust and peace while they're alive
And the one poor child who saved this world
And there's 10 million more who probably could
If we just stopped and said a prayer for them
I wish everyone was loved tonight
And somehow stop this endless fight
Just a chance that maybe they'll find better days
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